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This Life and These Times of a Madhouse
 
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Tarotwolf's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, May 27th, 2010
4:55 pm
Big Lion
The hardest farewell story I've ever had to write...

With a wide yawn and a long stretch of powerfully muscled legs, Lion awoke from his nap. The savannah was bright in the afternoon sun and the heat was draining even in the shade. He had been napping for a long time and while he slept, he dreamed. He dreamed of a cooler home in the emerald forests of a far away land. He dreamed of fine mists and wild rain storms soaking the ground under his feet. But most of all, he dreamed of her. He had found her on his hunt one day long ago. She was not from the plains and fields of his home. She was strong and gentle. She was kind and long suffering. She held him close in her arms and in her heart. Days and nights easily led into weeks and months after which followed years. It was nice not to have to be Lion for a time. It was nice to be able to sleep on warm soft blankets. It was nice know that food would always be there. It was nice to purr instead of roar.

But Lion was, and will always be, Lion. While many years passed in his dream, it was only a short nap to evade the heat of the noon day sun. The sun was setting now and the pride would soon be on the move again, following the zebra and the gazelle. In his dream he nuzzled her one last time and stepped into the shadows to awake in his home and lead again his pride. She would miss him but it wouldn’t be long, in his world, before she would come to visit him and hunt with his pride on his savannah.

Blessed be they who travel.
Blessed be those they leave behind.
May their pain be swift in healing
And may their memory be everlasting
As it was in days of old,
And as it will be for the eternities.
Tuesday, April 20th, 2010
6:26 am
Much has been done...
Since the last time I've posted we have moved from Burien, south of Seattle, to Woodinville, north of Seattle. This effectively cuts my commute to 9 miles instead of 30+ (WIN), gives us one additional bedroom (WIN), saves us money once you take into account the utilities that are covered and the gas I'll save (WIN) AND puts a hot tub on our back patio (WIN). I will say, however, I do so very much hate the moving. I liken it to tattoos. Love having the art, hate going under the needle. With any luck the next time we move will be into a place that we're buying but that won't be for a while.
Sunday, March 21st, 2010
9:18 pm
cleansing rites
In response to a couple of requests regarding cleansing decks, I thought I'd open up the topic for discussion.

I first began working with Tarot at the same time my religious practices shifted from a conservative Christian faith to a Pagan philosophy so my understanding to both Tarot and ritual evolved simultaneously. Because I did not have a traditional mentor in either and do not follow a specific practice or tradition, much of what I developed came from my own understanding of what I learned from books and a widening network of pagan spiritualists that I began interacting with.

As I explain the cleansing rituals I used then and now, I want to honor and invite others to share their thought and experiences.

cut for spaceCollapse )
Friday, March 19th, 2010
5:24 am
For my new LJ friend.
Recovery from anything is so much fun. On the same level of fun as slow, unsedated root canals. My addiction of choice, the one thing I actually had to work my ass off to change, was rage. There are still days when someone will mistakenly pull my trigger and I want to lash out physically or verbally. The frustrating part is that I am still, nearly three years after completing a year and a half "recovery" program, being held to account for some of my actions and decision by those who didn't know me then or now.

I had the opposite response. Instead of seeking the security of my hermit's cave, I started taking a more vocal and public role in my job and in my passions. When something happens to remind me of the ogre I was, however, all I want to do if find a hole and fall into it. That's a hard fight for me and I'm fortunate to have a family, natural legal and intentional, to stand boldly between oblivion and me. It's like they are telling me "Sure, you can run and hide like a scared little rabbit but you have to get through us first". They help me remember that the man I am now is not the same man I was.

I can't change who I was and I can't change how people think of me. I can be the man, the priest and the husband I want to be today though. And in that I take strength and courage and that is all I need...for today.
Monday, March 15th, 2010
10:17 pm
Two of Swords.
I had the opportunity to hang out with the Seafair Pirates the other day when it dawned on me that there were a LOT of swords in the immediate company. Here is one I just took spur of the moment for the Two of Swords.


Tuesday, March 9th, 2010
5:35 am
Ask and it shall be given unto thee
It never ceases to amaze me how true that statement has been throughout my life. Of course, it also supports the warning "be careful what you ask for, you just might get it". My wife and I have become pretty good at asking for things the right way and have once again been blessed by fate, luck, the Divine or what ever it is that continues to manifest our needs when we need them.

The latest example is this.

After close to two years in our current rental house, we have found the need for more space. More space closer to work would be nice, wouldn't it. Oh, and wouldn't it be great if we could get more space for the same money? A nice place in a good neighborhood with good schools and a place close by to run our mutts would rock. Yeah, but the landlord has to be OK with reptiles (snakes in particular). Ok, well let's start looking.

Craigslist had a couple in our old neighborhood that looked promising.

Then Deb found one of our friends on FB had posted that one of her friends needed a renter. A little checking and we found that the landlady has a lot of the same friends we do, poly/pagan friendly and the likes.

So we went to take a peek and this is what we found.

200 ft bigger than current in and extra bedroom.

About $100 more than we're paying BUT water and garbage are included (that adds up to about $100) as is gas.

15 minutes from work instead of 40.

Landlady impressed by our knowledgeable commitment to reptiles.

We meet with their agent on Wednesday to put together the details and we'll start packing the house immediately!
Monday, February 15th, 2010
12:02 pm
Poly NRE
The heart beats faster and the breath catches in our lungs when we think about them, our new flames all hot and bright and shiny. Every phone call makes us giggle in the hopes that it is from them. Hours pass by like minutes when we are together with them and minutes last for days when they are away from us. It is an intoxicant without equal which draws two strangers together, obscuring our faults just long enough for them to get to know us and, gods willing, fall in love with us.

NRE. Gotta love it.

Our friends, however, are not charmed by the same captivating spell of Eros. They have to endure us acting like kids half our age. They fight the urge to throw cold water on us when we are lost, doe eyed and panting, in the embrace of our new loves. They wait patiently for us to remember that we had made plans with them before Bright New Shiny Person showed up. If the worse happens and we lose our new found love, our friends are there to say “It’ll be ok” even if what they want to say is “Saw that comin’ dumb ass”

When we’re in a poly relationship, a relationship where we have established and committed partners in our lives already, NRE does not affect us alone. It’s one thing for our friends to wonder when we’ll show up for game night instead of date night but it is another thing entirely for a spouse or partner to stand on the side lines while waiting for the spell to run its course. We do our best to prevent seeming like we’re distracted when we’re at home but the truth is, like it or not, they know where our heads are from time to time. They know because we were once their Bright New Shiny Person and they were ours.

Familiarity may not always breed contempt but it frequently spawns complacency.

How do we balance the thrill of NRE with the stability of bonds that have already proven their strength? How do we share the excitement of discovering new aspects of a love with the ones that we have known for years and who know us for who and what we are when we’re not Bright or New or Shiny? We all want to believe that because we are poly we are immune to the fear and uncertainty, the jealousy and insecurity that come when we watch those we love falling in love with someone else. No matter how hard we try, however, we are only human and can no more deny these feelings than we can deny joy and love. It is the attempts to refuse to acknowledge these feelings, either by the ones feeling them or by their partners, that have the highest possibility to throw the carefully and delicately balanced nature of poly relationships into turmoil.

Speaking for myself, because that is the only person I can speak for, poly is about finding one or more aspects of a relationship that are unique and special in that partner and no other. It is not about prioritizing each relationship in a hierarchy of worth but in sharing all of my self with each of them. Even though I fully understand that “fair” and “equal” are not interchangeable terms, I can not love one any more than I do even if he or she were the only one in my life. Each person I share my heart and love with gets the whole package, if they are willing to accept it.

The problem for me begins when I forget to remind one or more of that unique ingredient to my fulfillment they bring to the recipe. When, in the fog of NRE, I forget to remind my established relationships why I chose to be with them how can they not think that I am drifting away? When I neglect to communicate the joy I feel to be in their company every minute that we share together, how can they possibly know the rush of excitement buzzing through my body as I make plans to see them? Mutual understanding and consent among the parties does not eliminate the feeling of loss every time I forget something as simple yet as important as reminding everyone how much they mean to me.

I am lucky enough to share my life with some amazing women and a wonderful man. There are days I fall short of my own expectations even if they all insist they I exceed theirs. There have been times when, blinded by the brightness of one flame, I have forgotten to stoke the hearths of another’s fire. Sometimes my actions do not follow my personal definition of the importance of each member of my family even if it is only my definition that I am committed to adhere to. For those who may have felt that my heart’s fire for them has cooled let me breathe new life on those coals and fan the flames of love and passion again.

I want each of you to be my Bright Shiny Person again.
Monday, February 1st, 2010
4:25 pm
Another liberty won!
Wow. First our people are given the right to mark our graves with pentacles and now the Air Force sets up a stone circle for Wiccan worship. Just Wow!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/35188048/ns/us_news-faith
Tuesday, January 26th, 2010
8:23 am
Family Planning
There has been and still is some intense family planning going on in my life. After several years of not having access to my kids, or more precisely not making access to my kids, I have been set upon by the desire to be a father. Trying to get my kids back from their mother may seem like the most logical option but there are concerns that their situation may be well out of my, although I need to say "our", skill set to handle without devolving back into the ogre I was years ago. I'm sure I should investigate the possibility although I will admit to being terrified of the fight to get them as well as the fight to undo all the damage that their mother and I have done to them. To expose my wife to that level of conflict just to satisfy my desire to be a father is wildly inappropriate.

I contacted the adoption agency that my first kids came from and found that they have been trying to reach me to talk about placing a sibling to my first kids with me. shock. I explained what was going on with the kids which raised some concern in the person that I was talking to. Why wasn’t I awarded custody of the kids? Why, when things crashed with their mother, did I not try to get the kids back? Why would they think that putting another kid in my home (ok, they didn't ask that last question in those words but still…)

To have a child, any child, in our house would require a move. We need a place that has a room we can secure for our reptiles and still be big enough to support the kind of family we, or at least I, envision. To move requires money which keeps getting allocated to sick dogs and car repairs.

I’m not worried, not as much as maybe I could be, but I am wondering what the future may hold for me, for my family in all of its complexity. There is a lot of things to thing about and consider and I want to be sure I’m doing the right thing for a righteous reason and not just to pander to my self serving ego.
Sunday, January 24th, 2010
12:56 am
happiness
I have the most wonderful, loving and amazing wife! Just sayin'
Sunday, January 17th, 2010
7:18 am
sadness
In my attempt to bring sunshine into my world I have cast another's world into a darkness that will spread and engulf my known universe. I am sorry.
Tuesday, January 12th, 2010
5:24 am
Processing
The following is my brain trying to figure out how I feel about letting someone back into my life.
cut for drama and lengthCollapse )
Monday, January 11th, 2010
5:13 am
Spent this weekend in a funk. Not sure why, just bitter and antisocial to a point near intolerable, at least from my perspective. Lucky for me I didn't have to go anywhere. Sadly, my beautiful wife was bathed in my self pity the whole weekend. Still not sure what the trigger was and still in a bit of fog mentally but feeling better. Yuck...just yuck.
Saturday, January 9th, 2010
5:11 pm
after a long absence
I have not been sick or in jail or anything like that. I can't even use the "I've been busy" excuse even though we all know how it gets during the holidays. Let's call it what it is. I've been lazy. Let me give a little catch up and then I'll get back into the swing of things.

I spent a large part of October and November on the road for work. I was doing some training down in El Paso Texas. It's a neat place once you get past the whole issue of being in the freaking desert! Don't even get me started on how hard it was to find good sushi down there. Steaks, on the other hand, were the best I've ever had! There's a place out there called Cattleman's that tosses meat and bones out into a field next to the dining room in the evening to feed a pack of about half dozen coyotes. Some of you may not know that I became a devoted priest of Coyote, at least of my interpretation of him, this summer so getting the chance to eat with one (even if it was on the other side of a sheet of glass) was a treat and an honor. I heard some of my friends say that it was pretty neat how they've trained the coyotes to come and entertain. Others think it's a terrible idea to interact like that with the wild. My opinion is what a great trick to train people to feed Coyote for the mere price of showing up for dinner. Worst part of the trip was the four or five days I spent in the hotel room alone with a fever of 101+ as I fought off what everyone suspects was our favorite biological boogie man H1N1. I take that back. The worst part of the trip was not being able to see my wife or my lovers for a month nearly straight!

While I was down there, someone tail ended Deb totaling the car. Both she and the other driver were healthy and walked away without harm (other than undoing a year's worth of chiropractic work on her back and neck) but the car was finished. We ended up getting an SUV/mini van cross over, a Chrysler Pacifica, which we're damn happy with. Of course that means that we had to put out more money than we were hoping to which pushed any gifts we'd intended to get for each other and our families back a couple of months. Took me forever to relearn how to park. I know it sounds lame but it's a bigger car and you really can't see the edges of the hood from the cabin so it was throwing me off for a bit.

I've been doing some writing. Short stories from what I call my "Great Grandmother Stories". They're a collection of creation myths told in something similar to what I envision as native American oral legends. I wrote six new ones and put an old one on page for the first time in the space of about two days and gave them to my wife, lovers and two sisters-by-choice for Yule.

Learned a little about myself over the holidays too. Discovered that my capacity to love someone is not bound by gender or race. Of course, I had always known that but now my wife and I are in a loose triad relationship with someone from her past. It was not something I was seeking or expecting but I'm pretty thrilled that I found it!

My one big objective for this year is to try to resurrect my credit. I have a few long range goals that require I be able to convince a bank that I'm not a bad risk. It won't be easy. I have burned a lot of financial bridges but to do what I want to do I have to do what I need to do.

So those are just a few of the highlights of my life since last I posted. I'll make the effort to get back into boring everyone from here and promise not to simply copy/paste the same status reports from my face book.
Friday, August 21st, 2009
4:17 pm
The Hangman, Maurice Ogden
When I was in high school world history our teacher, one of the most influentical teachers I have ever experienced, ran this film strip set to this poem both before and after our study of the holocaust. That was over two decades ago and I still carry its message of warning in my heart. Recently the story has been returning to my mind for reasons as yet unknown to me. I'm leaving it here for those who wish to read it and I pray that I may have the strength, when the time comes, to tell the Hangman "NO MORE!"

The HangmanCollapse )
Tuesday, August 18th, 2009
11:43 am
Weekend review
My brother who lives in Colorado came through town on his way to our old home stomps for his high school reunion. We did the EMP, sushi at our favorite sushi place, wine tasting and just hung out together. I haven't seen him in...fuck, can't remember how long! I know I was with my first wife and we've been apart for about six years so it's been a day or thousands since I've seen him.

He brought some mead from CO, picked some up from ID when he stopped at our folks for a couple days and we had some great mead home made by friends in WA so we had an IDCOWA mead tasting party (thanks to all who came!) and I'm still sipping on the bottles we opened on Sunday!

We combined his passion (music) and ours (snakes) by shooting some shots of our snakes wrapped around his guitar.

He's now on his last leg of the out bound journey to Klamath Falls before taking the long trip back to CO from southern OR.

a few BIG picsCollapse )
Friday, August 14th, 2009
5:14 am
The Trickster Family Picnic
Coyote, Otter, Fox and Crow were walking through the forest one day when they came to a clearing. Since it was very hot that day and there was a river at the edge of the glen they decided to sit at the water’s edge and cool their tongues in the river.

It wasn’t long before the four of them heard something in the woods on the other side of the river. Coyote perked his ears but even his sharp hearing could not tell what was making the sound. Crow flew over the trees but even her bright eyes could find what was making the sound.

“I have an idea,” Otter said, “let’s cross the river and look for it.”

“You can swim and Crow can fly,” Coyote said. “I don’t swim or fly so I can’t cross the river.”

Otter frowned. “But you can shape shift, right?” she asked.

“True,” Coyote answered, “but that is very hard magic for very special tricks.”

“Not a problem, big brother,” Fox interrupted. “I remember seeing a log that fell across the river a little ways back.”

Coyote grinned and nodded and the four of them crossed the river.

As they wound deeper into the wood they realized that the sound was music. Bells and drums, pipes and mandolins drew the trickster family deeper into the woods until they found a tall boulder standing in the middle of a ring of yellow and red mushrooms. The music was coming from the stone even though
there was nobody around.

“Come play and dance,” a voice giggled from the stone. “You look tired and hungry. We have berries and fish and mice and you can have some if you want.”

The four looked at each other. One by one they thought about their own lists of things they shouldn’t do and eating berries while listening to good music wasn’t on any of them so they stepped as one into a wonderful adventure.

They found themselves standing in a wide field. Tents and wagons filled with bright fabrics and shiny trinkets lined two sides of the field while a river and a stage bordered the other two sides. On the stage a Raven, a Satyr and a Raccoon wearing a pirate hat played and sang while faeries and pixies bounced and danced under the sun and in the shade of the trees. There was a living rainbow striding proudly around the field but when the music stopped it exploded into a cloud of winged butterfly sized pixies each a single hue of the prism.

The next song began and an orange faun stepped into the middle of the field. She was swinging flaming chains that seemed to breathe and change colors to the tempo of the drums from the stage. As the four of them stood in amazement a group of dancers moved in a circle around them. Hands reached out and petted their fur and feathers. Many kisses were offered, and accepted of course, as they moved toward one end of the field where a pair of long and wide tables had been set up in a giant T.

Once the last song ended, the merry makers made their way, still bouncing and dancing, to the table. Wine and beer filled mugs and plates of fish and meat and berries and nuts were passed around. Coyote, Fox, Otter and Crow shared stories and played tricks for their hosts and the air rang with the music of laughter. As the sun set in the west a bell rang and a drum began to beat a steady primitive rhythm. Everyone at the table stood and faced the east.

From the east came a procession of elves and faeries. The pair leading the procession was dressed in leafs and green silks and carried a large circled star made of branches. Behind them came a pair draped in yellow robes and waving smoldering branches that filled the air with a sweet earthy scent. Next there came a pair of fire jugglers breathing arcs of living flame. Behind them came two blue robed fey sprinkling the ground behind them with water that somehow bubbled as if still breathing from the river. Bringing up the rear were the king and queen of the fey dressed in resplendent finery of silks and ribbons. The procession made a full circuit around the grounds and everyone bowed at their approach. Finally, they arrived at the table and were seated across from Coyote and his sisters.

“Well met lord and ladies,” the king and queen greeted them. “Rabi and Gwayne, queen and king of the River Fey, welcome you to our table. May you never leave our land hungry or in need.”

One by one, the trickster family stood and introduced themselves to the royals; Coyote, storyteller protector and trickster, Otter, guardian game maker and trickster, Crow, singer messenger and trickster and Fox, avenger healer and trickster.

The queen, Rabi, stood and raised her cup of wine. “Let it be said here and forward that the family Trickster are known and welcome among the children of the River!” There was a loud cheer and with that the feasting began.

The next three days and nights were spent eating and drinking and telling stories. There seemed to be no need for sleep or rest. Each of the trickster told tales of their tricks and deeds. They told about why dogs sniff their tails. They sang about carrying news and instructions between the gods and man. They played games in and around the river. They wove epic stories of adventures and the lessons they have taught their people.

At the end of three days Coyote Fox Otter and Crow stood from the table. They bowed deeply to Rabi and Gwayne. “We are very grateful for you hospitality, m’lady and milord, but the time has come for us to return to our lands. There is a lot of work to be done, a lot of tricks to be played.”

The crowd around the table fell silent. They all stopped what they were doing and turned their attention to where the four of them faced the queen and king. Everyone had stopped smiling and the air suddenly crackled with tension. Queen Rabi stood. Her face was no longer bright and full of mirth. Now it was cold and hard. Anger bubbled just below the surface.

“You dare to insult our hospitality? Have you not enjoyed the food and the company? Have we not shared stories and song? Have we not treated you, invaders to our land, as brother and sisters?” Several people, all wearing red caps and wielding iron spikes, rose and began making their way to the center of the table where the queen and the tricksters stood.

Coyote Crow Otter and Fox scattered away from the approaching red caps and Rabi calmly seated herself. She sipped her wine as she watched the chaos that followed directing the actions with but the simplest of gestures.

Crow flew off. Rabi lifted her finger and the wind rose into a great beast that grabbed Crow’s wings and held her fast. Coyote stepped between the wind and Crow. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he shape shifted in a mountain blocking the wind. Crow broke the grip of the wind and flew toward the river.

Otter leapt into the river. Rabi waved her hand and the water grew arms and hands that wrapped around Otter’s legs and tail dragging her under. Crow swept down and snagged Otter out of the water dropping her safely on the shore where she shook the water off of her oily coat indignantly.

Fox bounded toward the forest. Rabi nodded her head and a troop of red caps used torches to encircle Fox in a ring of flames. Otter reached out and slapped the river. “TAG! You’re it!” she cried and bolted toward Fox. The river rose out of its banks following her close behind. At the last minute, Otter turned to the side and the river dowsed the flames surrounding Fox.

Before Coyote could regain his true shape a band of red caps, directed by but a glance from their queen Rabi, had nailed him place with iron spikes. He stood motionless as the mountain he had become. Fox boldly leapt onto the table and stood nose to nose with the terrible queen of the river sidhe. Her golden eyes were frozen chips of glacial ice but her breath steamed with the heat of Hell’s furnace. “Trust me when I tell you,” Fox nearly whispered in a hiss, “you do NOT want us as your enemy! Release our brother and let us go!”

Rabi sat unmoved in her throne at the head of the feast. Otter and Crow came to Fox’s side and joined their strength with hers and still the queen was unimpressed. Finally Gwayne stood. He drew his sword and laid it on the table between the tricksters and his bride. Without a word, the red caps immediately pulled the iron spikes out of Coyote’s feet.

“You are each clever and wise,” the king announced in a deep and loud regal voice. “But you have partaken of our food and drink. As is our law, you are bound to dwell with us for a time.” A cheer rose from the gathered elves and faeries.

By then, Coyote had joined his sisters. None of them were amused.

The king raised his hand and the crowd grew silent. “However,” he continued, “you have each bested the champions of my bride. This is not an easy thing to do. In truth, there are gods gathered here who have not been able to escape one of our guards let alone four. This gives me pause.” He seemed to think for a time before going on. “I will strike thee today a bargain. You are free to come and go from our lands but every year, at the first harvest of man’s grain, you shall return to regale us with new tales and lessons you have gathered that year. This will be a pact that will last the seven years one would traditionally spend in our company having dined with us. What do you say Tricksters? Are you willing to agree to that?”

Coyote Fox Crow and Otter thought for a long moment. They knew they had pulled off a pretty good trick to get out of trouble but they also knew that they didn’t have enough tricks to evade all of the soldiers and “champions” Rabi and Gwayne could call against them. Without a word they each nodded their agreement in unison.

“All is well then!” the king, Gwayne, decreed. “Minion, show our guests to the ring and allow them safe passage.” A young girl with newly sprouted wings stepped out of the crowd and followed her king’s instructions. Gwayne returned his sword to the scabbard at his side and lifted his wine to his lips.

“Mother was right,” he said as he watched the four leave occasionally casting untrusting glances over their shoulders. “Despite their mischievous nature they will not turn from each other’s side even to save themselves.”

Rabi motioned for her cup to be filled again. “So it would seem,” she answered. Her eyes never left the four and remained focused on the ring of mushrooms even after they had faded out of the land of the river fey. “They just may be what we need to fight back the coming Dark. We shall see soon enough.” She lifted the warm blood to her lips and sipped thoughtfully.

The four of them stepped out of the ring of mushrooms and back into their own forested world. As soon as they heard the familiar bird calls and the gentle bubbling of the nearby river their moods improved significantly.

“Are we really going to go back?” Otter asked.

“I’d like to go back and pluck out an eye or two. Or six.” Crow cawed ruffling her feathers.

“We did make an agreement,” Fox offered wisely.

“Yes we did,” Coyote grinned a wild toothy grin. “And besides. Just think of the tricks we can play on them when we’ve had a year to come up with something wickedly appropriate!”

The four of them giggled at the thought and they chased each other back to the log crossing the river. There was much fun and work to do and, come the next year, they would show Rabi what it was like to piss off the Trickster family.
Thursday, July 30th, 2009
10:25 am
South bound
On my way south to Eugene for farieworlds. Pics to follow.
Tuesday, July 28th, 2009
2:35 pm
A sad first
As sad as it is, there has to be a "first fatality" in the history of any public transit service. Here in Seattle, we've been way behind the curve on some kind of public rail service. After long years of planning, politicking and production Seattle Light Rail finally launched. There are some concerns over the fact that it shares the same road as pedestrians and cars but I honestly believe there was enough education done before hand to make the risk to pay off ratio acceptable.

All of the preparation in the world, however, can not prevent the deliberate act to throwing ones self in front of an on coming train. The ending of any human life is a tragedy (yes, even if it is arguable that it was justified or deserved) and it's hard to know what demons drive certain people to visit this upon themselves and their loved ones.

Tragedy was not the reason I decided to comment on this however. The demon that drove me to open this topic, as painful as it may be to others, is what I preceive as a clear lack of deductive capability (or at least the willingness to commit to stating the obvious) displayed by the authorities in this matter. I include, as evidence, the following quote taken from the Seattle Times web site on 28 July 2009, the day after a man leapt in front of a train to his death...

"Police spokeswoman Renee Witt said early information from traffic-collision investigators indicates that as the southbound train approached, the man — for unknown reasons — climbed over a concrete barrier south of South Holgate Street and "jumped into the path of the train."

Witt stopped short of calling the incident a suicide, saying that determination would have to be made by the King County Medical Examiner's Office, which is investigating."

I will admit that I am neither a train law enforcement officer nor an educated medical examiner but it seems to me that any body going out of their way to avoid a safety barrier to place himself in the path of a moving train that lacks the ability to stop on a dime is committing suicide. It may be that he is mentally unstable or high on drugs but the end result is the same. A man took his own life or, more accurately, he forced someone else to take it for him.
Monday, July 27th, 2009
6:17 pm
Who Killed Amanda Palmer
I just got our copy of Who Killed Amanda Palmer (a collaboration between Kyle Cassidy, Neil Gaimen, Amanda Palmer and a handful of talented photographers) and it is wonderful and artistic and captivating and, yes, it's even a bit disturbing. Thanks to all the great minds that went into making it and thank to my wife for picking it up for us!
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