This Life and These Times of a Madhouse

The Hangman, Maurice Ogden

2009-08-21T23:26:20Z

When I was in high school world history our teacher, one of the most influentical teachers I have ever experienced, ran this film strip set to this poem both before and after our study of the holocaust. That was over two decades ago and I still carry its message of warning in my heart. Recently the story has been returning to my mind for reasons as yet unknown to me. I'm leaving it here for those who wish to read it and I pray that I may have the strength, when the time comes, to tell the Hangman "NO MORE!"

Into our town the Hangman came.
Smelling of gold and blood and flame
and he paced our bricks with a diffident air
and built his frame on the courthouse square

The scaffold stood by the courthouse side,
Only as wide as the door was wide;
A frame as tall, or little more,
Than the capping sill of the courthouse door

And we wondered, whenever we had the time.
Who the criminal, what the crime.
That Hangman judged with the yellow twist
of knotted hemp in his busy fist.

And innocent though we were, with dread,
We passed those eyes of buckshot lead:
Till one cried: "Hangman, who is he
For whom you raise the gallows-tree?"

Then a twinkle grew in the buckshot eye,
And he gave us a riddle instead of reply:
"He who serves me best," said he,
"Shall earn the rope on the gallows-tree."

And he stepped down. and laid his hand
On a man who came from another land
And we breathed again, for another's grief
At the Hangman's hand was our relief

And the gallows-frame on the courthouse lawn
By tomorrow's sun would be struck and gone.
So we gave him way, and no one spoke.
Out of respect for his Hangman's cloak.
2.
The next day's sun looked mildly down
On roof and street in our quiet town
And stark and black in the morning air,
The gallows-tree on the courthouse square.

And the Hangman stood at his usual stand
With the yellow hemp in his busy hand;
With his buckshot eye and his jaw like a pike
And his air so knowing and business like.

And we cried, "Hangman, have you not done
Yesterday. with the alien one?"
Then we fell silent, and stood amazed,
"Oh, not for him was the gallows raised."

He laughed a laugh as he looked at us:
"...Did you think I'd gone to all this fuss
To hang one man? That's a thing I do
To stretch a rope when the rope is new."

Then one cried "Murder!" One cried "Shame!"
And into our midst the Hangman came
To that man's place. "Do you hold," said he,
"with him that was meant for the gallows-tree?"

And he laid his hand on that one's arm.
And we shrank back in quick alarm,
And we gave him way, and no one spoke
Out of fear of his Hangman's cloak.

That night we saw with dread surprise
The Hangman's scaffold had grown in size.
Fed by the blood beneath the chute
The gallows-tree had taken root;

Now as wide, or a little more,
Than the steps that led to the courthouse door,
As tall as the writing, or nearly as tall,
Halfway up on the courthouse wall.
3.
The third he took-we had all heard tell
Was a user and infidel, and
"What," said the Hangman "have you to do
With the gallows-bound, and he a Jew?"

And we cried out, "Is this one he
Who has served you well and faithfully?"
The Hangman smiled: "It's a clever scheme
to try the strength of the gallows-beam."

The fourth man's dark, accusing song
Had scratched out comfort hard and long;
And what concern, he gave us back.
"Have you for the doomed--the doomed and black?"

The fifth. The sixth. And we cried again,
"Hangman, Hangman, is this the last?"
"It's a trick," he said. "that we hangmen know
For easing the trap when the trap springs slow.""

And so we ceased, and asked no more,
As the Hangman tallied his bloody score:
And sun by sun, and night by night,
The gallows grew to monstrous height.

The wings of the scaffold opened wide
Till they covered the square from side to side:
And the monster cross-beam, looking down.
Cast its shadow across the town.

4.
Then through the town the Hangman came
And called in the empty streets my name-
And I looked at the gallows soaring tall
And thought, "There is no one left at all

For hanging." And so he calls to me
To help pull down the gallows-tree.
And I went out with right good hope
To the Hangman's tree and the Hangman's rope.

He smiled at me as I came down
To the courthouse square through the silent town.
And supple and stretched in his busy hand
Was the yellow twist of the strand.

And he whistled his tune as he tried the trap
And it sprang down with a ready snap
And then with a smile of awful command
He laid his hand upon my hand.

"You tricked me. Hangman!," I shouted then.
"That your scaffold was built for other men...
And I no henchman of yours," I cried,
"You lied to me. Hangman. foully lied!"

Then a twinkle grew in the buckshot eye,
"Lied to you? Tricked you?" he said. "Not I.
For I answered straight and I told you true"
The scaffold was raised for none but you.

For who has served me more faithfully
Then you with your coward's hope?" said he,
"And where are the others that might have stood
Side by your side in the common good?,"

"Dead," I whispered, and sadly
"Murdered," the Hangman corrected me:
"First the alien, then the Jew...
I did no more than you let me do."

Beneath the beam that blocked the sky.
None had stood so alone as I
And the Hangman strapped me, and no voice there
Cried "Stay!" for me in the empty square

Weekend review

2009-08-18T18:50:54Z

My brother who lives in Colorado came through town on his way to our old home stomps for his high school reunion. We did the EMP, sushi at our favorite sushi place, wine tasting and just hung out together. I haven't seen him in...fuck, can't remember how long! I know I was with my first wife and we've been apart for about six years so it's been a day or thousands since I've seen him.

He brought some mead from CO, picked some up from ID when he stopped at our folks for a couple days and we had some great mead home made by friends in WA so we had an IDCOWA mead tasting party (thanks to all who came!) and I'm still sipping on the bottles we opened on Sunday!

We combined his passion (music) and ours (snakes) by shooting some shots of our snakes wrapped around his guitar.

He's now on his last leg of the out bound journey to Klamath Falls before taking the long trip back to CO from southern OR.

Me on the left, Lee on the right.

Snakes&strings I

and II

Tornado of strings

The Trickster Family Picnic

2009-08-14T12:12:41Z

Coyote, Otter, Fox and Crow were walking through the forest one day when they came to a clearing. Since it was very hot that day and there was a river at the edge of the glen they decided to sit at the water’s edge and cool their tongues in the river.

It wasn’t long before the four of them heard something in the woods on the other side of the river. Coyote perked his ears but even his sharp hearing could not tell what was making the sound. Crow flew over the trees but even her bright eyes could find what was making the sound.

“I have an idea,” Otter said, “let’s cross the river and look for it.”

“You can swim and Crow can fly,” Coyote said. “I don’t swim or fly so I can’t cross the river.”

Otter frowned. “But you can shape shift, right?” she asked.

“True,” Coyote answered, “but that is very hard magic for very special tricks.”

“Not a problem, big brother,” Fox interrupted. “I remember seeing a log that fell across the river a little ways back.”

Coyote grinned and nodded and the four of them crossed the river.

As they wound deeper into the wood they realized that the sound was music. Bells and drums, pipes and mandolins drew the trickster family deeper into the woods until they found a tall boulder standing in the middle of a ring of yellow and red mushrooms. The music was coming from the stone even though
there was nobody around.

“Come play and dance,” a voice giggled from the stone. “You look tired and hungry. We have berries and fish and mice and you can have some if you want.”

The four looked at each other. One by one they thought about their own lists of things they shouldn’t do and eating berries while listening to good music wasn’t on any of them so they stepped as one into a wonderful adventure.

They found themselves standing in a wide field. Tents and wagons filled with bright fabrics and shiny trinkets lined two sides of the field while a river and a stage bordered the other two sides. On the stage a Raven, a Satyr and a Raccoon wearing a pirate hat played and sang while faeries and pixies bounced and danced under the sun and in the shade of the trees. There was a living rainbow striding proudly around the field but when the music stopped it exploded into a cloud of winged butterfly sized pixies each a single hue of the prism.

The next song began and an orange faun stepped into the middle of the field. She was swinging flaming chains that seemed to breathe and change colors to the tempo of the drums from the stage. As the four of them stood in amazement a group of dancers moved in a circle around them. Hands reached out and petted their fur and feathers. Many kisses were offered, and accepted of course, as they moved toward one end of the field where a pair of long and wide tables had been set up in a giant T.

Once the last song ended, the merry makers made their way, still bouncing and dancing, to the table. Wine and beer filled mugs and plates of fish and meat and berries and nuts were passed around. Coyote, Fox, Otter and Crow shared stories and played tricks for their hosts and the air rang with the music of laughter. As the sun set in the west a bell rang and a drum began to beat a steady primitive rhythm. Everyone at the table stood and faced the east.

From the east came a procession of elves and faeries. The pair leading the procession was dressed in leafs and green silks and carried a large circled star made of branches. Behind them came a pair draped in yellow robes and waving smoldering branches that filled the air with a sweet earthy scent. Next there came a pair of fire jugglers breathing arcs of living flame. Behind them came two blue robed fey sprinkling the ground behind them with water that somehow bubbled as if still breathing from the river. Bringing up the rear were the king and queen of the fey dressed in resplendent finery of silks and ribbons. The procession made a full circuit around the grounds and everyone bowed at their approach. Finally, they arrived at the table and were seated across from Coyote and his sisters.

“Well met lord and ladies,” the king and queen greeted them. “Rabi and Gwayne, queen and king of the River Fey, welcome you to our table. May you never leave our land hungry or in need.”

One by one, the trickster family stood and introduced themselves to the royals; Coyote, storyteller protector and trickster, Otter, guardian game maker and trickster, Crow, singer messenger and trickster and Fox, avenger healer and trickster.

The queen, Rabi, stood and raised her cup of wine. “Let it be said here and forward that the family Trickster are known and welcome among the children of the River!” There was a loud cheer and with that the feasting began.

The next three days and nights were spent eating and drinking and telling stories. There seemed to be no need for sleep or rest. Each of the trickster told tales of their tricks and deeds. They told about why dogs sniff their tails. They sang about carrying news and instructions between the gods and man. They played games in and around the river. They wove epic stories of adventures and the lessons they have taught their people.

At the end of three days Coyote Fox Otter and Crow stood from the table. They bowed deeply to Rabi and Gwayne. “We are very grateful for you hospitality, m’lady and milord, but the time has come for us to return to our lands. There is a lot of work to be done, a lot of tricks to be played.”

The crowd around the table fell silent. They all stopped what they were doing and turned their attention to where the four of them faced the queen and king. Everyone had stopped smiling and the air suddenly crackled with tension. Queen Rabi stood. Her face was no longer bright and full of mirth. Now it was cold and hard. Anger bubbled just below the surface.

“You dare to insult our hospitality? Have you not enjoyed the food and the company? Have we not shared stories and song? Have we not treated you, invaders to our land, as brother and sisters?” Several people, all wearing red caps and wielding iron spikes, rose and began making their way to the center of the table where the queen and the tricksters stood.

Coyote Crow Otter and Fox scattered away from the approaching red caps and Rabi calmly seated herself. She sipped her wine as she watched the chaos that followed directing the actions with but the simplest of gestures.

Crow flew off. Rabi lifted her finger and the wind rose into a great beast that grabbed Crow’s wings and held her fast. Coyote stepped between the wind and Crow. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he shape shifted in a mountain blocking the wind. Crow broke the grip of the wind and flew toward the river.

Otter leapt into the river. Rabi waved her hand and the water grew arms and hands that wrapped around Otter’s legs and tail dragging her under. Crow swept down and snagged Otter out of the water dropping her safely on the shore where she shook the water off of her oily coat indignantly.

Fox bounded toward the forest. Rabi nodded her head and a troop of red caps used torches to encircle Fox in a ring of flames. Otter reached out and slapped the river. “TAG! You’re it!” she cried and bolted toward Fox. The river rose out of its banks following her close behind. At the last minute, Otter turned to the side and the river dowsed the flames surrounding Fox.

Before Coyote could regain his true shape a band of red caps, directed by but a glance from their queen Rabi, had nailed him place with iron spikes. He stood motionless as the mountain he had become. Fox boldly leapt onto the table and stood nose to nose with the terrible queen of the river sidhe. Her golden eyes were frozen chips of glacial ice but her breath steamed with the heat of Hell’s furnace. “Trust me when I tell you,” Fox nearly whispered in a hiss, “you do NOT want us as your enemy! Release our brother and let us go!”

Rabi sat unmoved in her throne at the head of the feast. Otter and Crow came to Fox’s side and joined their strength with hers and still the queen was unimpressed. Finally Gwayne stood. He drew his sword and laid it on the table between the tricksters and his bride. Without a word, the red caps immediately pulled the iron spikes out of Coyote’s feet.

“You are each clever and wise,” the king announced in a deep and loud regal voice. “But you have partaken of our food and drink. As is our law, you are bound to dwell with us for a time.” A cheer rose from the gathered elves and faeries.

By then, Coyote had joined his sisters. None of them were amused.

The king raised his hand and the crowd grew silent. “However,” he continued, “you have each bested the champions of my bride. This is not an easy thing to do. In truth, there are gods gathered here who have not been able to escape one of our guards let alone four. This gives me pause.” He seemed to think for a time before going on. “I will strike thee today a bargain. You are free to come and go from our lands but every year, at the first harvest of man’s grain, you shall return to regale us with new tales and lessons you have gathered that year. This will be a pact that will last the seven years one would traditionally spend in our company having dined with us. What do you say Tricksters? Are you willing to agree to that?”

Coyote Fox Crow and Otter thought for a long moment. They knew they had pulled off a pretty good trick to get out of trouble but they also knew that they didn’t have enough tricks to evade all of the soldiers and “champions” Rabi and Gwayne could call against them. Without a word they each nodded their agreement in unison.

“All is well then!” the king, Gwayne, decreed. “Minion, show our guests to the ring and allow them safe passage.” A young girl with newly sprouted wings stepped out of the crowd and followed her king’s instructions. Gwayne returned his sword to the scabbard at his side and lifted his wine to his lips.

“Mother was right,” he said as he watched the four leave occasionally casting untrusting glances over their shoulders. “Despite their mischievous nature they will not turn from each other’s side even to save themselves.”

Rabi motioned for her cup to be filled again. “So it would seem,” she answered. Her eyes never left the four and remained focused on the ring of mushrooms even after they had faded out of the land of the river fey. “They just may be what we need to fight back the coming Dark. We shall see soon enough.” She lifted the warm blood to her lips and sipped thoughtfully.

The four of them stepped out of the ring of mushrooms and back into their own forested world. As soon as they heard the familiar bird calls and the gentle bubbling of the nearby river their moods improved significantly.

“Are we really going to go back?” Otter asked.

“I’d like to go back and pluck out an eye or two. Or six.” Crow cawed ruffling her feathers.

“We did make an agreement,” Fox offered wisely.

“Yes we did,” Coyote grinned a wild toothy grin. “And besides. Just think of the tricks we can play on them when we’ve had a year to come up with something wickedly appropriate!”

The four of them giggled at the thought and they chased each other back to the log crossing the river. There was much fun and work to do and, come the next year, they would show Rabi what it was like to piss off the Trickster family.

South bound

2009-07-30T17:25:26Z

On my way south to Eugene for farieworlds. Pics to follow.

A sad first

2009-07-28T21:52:25Z

As sad as it is, there has to be a "first fatality" in the history of any public transit service. Here in Seattle, we've been way behind the curve on some kind of public rail service. After long years of planning, politicking and production Seattle Light Rail finally launched. There are some concerns over the fact that it shares the same road as pedestrians and cars but I honestly believe there was enough education done before hand to make the risk to pay off ratio acceptable.

All of the preparation in the world, however, can not prevent the deliberate act to throwing ones self in front of an on coming train. The ending of any human life is a tragedy (yes, even if it is arguable that it was justified or deserved) and it's hard to know what demons drive certain people to visit this upon themselves and their loved ones.

Tragedy was not the reason I decided to comment on this however. The demon that drove me to open this topic, as painful as it may be to others, is what I preceive as a clear lack of deductive capability (or at least the willingness to commit to stating the obvious) displayed by the authorities in this matter. I include, as evidence, the following quote taken from the Seattle Times web site on 28 July 2009, the day after a man leapt in front of a train to his death...

"Police spokeswoman Renee Witt said early information from traffic-collision investigators indicates that as the southbound train approached, the man — for unknown reasons — climbed over a concrete barrier south of South Holgate Street and "jumped into the path of the train."

Witt stopped short of calling the incident a suicide, saying that determination would have to be made by the King County Medical Examiner's Office, which is investigating."

I will admit that I am neither a train law enforcement officer nor an educated medical examiner but it seems to me that any body going out of their way to avoid a safety barrier to place himself in the path of a moving train that lacks the ability to stop on a dime is committing suicide. It may be that he is mentally unstable or high on drugs but the end result is the same. A man took his own life or, more accurately, he forced someone else to take it for him.

Who Killed Amanda Palmer

2009-07-28T01:14:05Z

I just got our copy of Who Killed Amanda Palmer (a collaboration between Kyle Cassidy, Neil Gaimen, Amanda Palmer and a handful of talented photographers) and it is wonderful and artistic and captivating and, yes, it's even a bit disturbing. Thanks to all the great minds that went into making it and thank to my wife for picking it up for us!

Five elements of planning a ritual.

2009-07-26T15:37:26Z

I spent yesterday at church for the celebration of the Fires of Lughnasadh. It's my coming out ritual (my first public ritual after deciding to follow a more pagan, goddess centered path) so I make it a point to go every year. Some are better than other. I would have to rank this year as the second best I'd attended but, without explaining what happens and why this one was better than most (which is not the topic of this post) you'd have to take my word for it.

There was a workshop presented by Raven and his partner, Rae on the five steps to planning an effective ritual. Since I like planning and participating in the formal aspects of magical ritual work, I thought I'd share them here. I will point out that I was the only one taking notes even if it was simply writing key words in the dirt between my feet.

As in all magical workings, the first and arguably the most important step is to know your INTENT. Know what it is you want the ritual to accomplish whether it is the celebration of some event, the blessing and sanctification of something or the empowerment of an object or person. Once ones intent is known, the rest of the ritual build upon that aspect and the framework begins to take shape.

Once the intent is known, the SPACE needs to be considered. There are a couple of limitation you have to think about when contemplating where to have the ritual. Material limitation include things like capacity, material components and individual physical limitations. Spiritual limitations may be the level or tradition of experience of the participants. Combining tradition is fine but when you do, it is best to work with the techniques the traditions share to make it a smoother rite.

With the intent and the space requirements addressed, you can now turn you attention to the source of the power and ENERGY you will be using. Internal methods of driving up energy include things like drumming, chanting, singing, sex and visualization. Invoking spirits, entities and Deity are examples of using external methods to provide the power for your rites.

It is now time to think about how to accomplish the FULFILLMENT of your intent. This is the culminating act that will bind the energy you have drawn into the space to the original intent of the ritual. This is usually some symbolic creation or representation. It could be something as simple as focusing your energy into a paper with your intent written on it or as elaborate as a corn doll to hold the power of the ritual.

After the work has been done it is time to RELEASE the energy drawn down. This is where all of the power poured into the focus during the fulfillment is sent out to do the work needed to address your intent. Some classic release techniques are burning, burying and visualizing (usually accompanied by some vocal cue). This step also includes grounding any unused energy or dismissing and devoking any entities or personalities you have invited to attend the rite.

So by knowing your INTENT and the limitation of your SPACE, you can decide how you will raise the ENERGY to accomplish the FULFILLMENT of the ritual before RELEASING that energy into the world to work on your INTENT. Now it's time to draw up the outline of your rite.

Though I didn't get a chance to thank Raven and Rae in person, I want to express my gratitude for their efforts both here and in spirit.

Lee’s Road to Exaltation

2009-07-24T16:13:56Z

It was raining again today. Of course that didn’t surprise Lee at all. Lately it had been grey and raining more often than not. People around him would huddle in doorways and cover their heads with rapidly disintegrating news papers in a futile attempt to avoid the weather but no him. He loved the rain. He loved the snow. He loved the sunshine and the thunder. To him, every day brought new and exciting chance to show his friends and his family just how wonderful life was regardless such trivial challenges like the weather. Let the rains come, he thought to himself as he smiled and nodded his head to everyone he passed on the way. He had walked several blocks before he realized he was whistling to himself.

Before long he found himself in an unknown part of the city. People seemed to be fewer and farther between and most had some lost look in their eyes as the navigated the puddles in the streets and sidewalks. Most of the store fronts in this neighborhood seemed to be abandoned but every now and then he would spy someone stopping in front of one of the stores. A look of relief and recognition would cross that person’s face and they would walk through the door disappearing in the darkness behind. He shrugged and thought little of it as he walked on to his destination.

It was then that he realized that he didn’t know where he was going. He knew there had been a goal in mind at the beginning of the day but somewhere along the way that goal had been changed. He thought for a minute as we thoughtlessly skirted a puddle but could not remember when he had changed his plans for that day. It seemed like he had forgotten to do something but he didn’t have a clue as to what that something was.

As his mind wandered in and out of the tasks he could remember he noticed that the rain was no longer falling on him. He looked around. It was still raining but he had found himself under a large and colorful awning protecting a pair of smoked glass doors. There was a door man dressed in a dark red uniform standing under the awning with him.

“May I see your invitation please?” the door man asked.

Without thinking, Lee reached into the inner pocket of his jacket and produced a white envelope. Penned in a deep blue ink were the words “The Crystal Club”. He handed it to the door man who opened it and read the note contained inside.

“Welcome to the Crystal sir,” the man said handing the envelope back to him. The man in red pulled the door open and bowed. “Your table is ready for you,”

He entered into club. The lights were low and there was trumpet that was playing the opening chords to “The man I love”. He smiled and thought that the club had good taste in music. Then he heard her. No cheap copy could sound like that. His breath caught in his chest as he rounded the corner into the dining room as she was just finishing the first verse.

There was no mistaking it. Billie Holiday stood on the stage gently swaying to the oboe solo. Flawlessly she stepped up to the microphone and picked up the next verse.

He heard a man beside him. “Welcome to the Crystal. If you’ll follow me, sir, your party is waiting for you.” He allowed himself to be led through the dining hall to his table.

The man seated at the table had his back turned as he chatted with a beautiful woman in a long sequined evening gown at the table next to his. The escort announced, “Your guest has arrived sir” and the man turned to face him.

“Well, it’s about time boy!” he said as he stood. Without hesitation his host gave Lee a hug and pulled a chair out for him. When his guest didn’t immediately take his seat, he looked concerned. “What’s the matter son? You look like you’ve seen a ghost?”

“More like a god” Lee answered as he shook off the awe. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Mr. Hope.”

“What’s with the 'meet' and ‘Mr. Hope’ bit? Come on, Lee, it’s me, Bob!” Bob poured a glass of wine and pushed in front of Lee. “I know it’s been a while but you can’t tell me you don’t remember”

“What doesn’t he remember?” A familiar voice said from behind him. Lee turned and nearly fell out of his chair as Bing Crosby pulled out a chair to join them.

“You know, Lee,” Bob continued, “You were the one that didn’t want to get off where we did on the Road to Earth. ‘This looks like as good a place as any’ Bing said. But nope. Not good enough for you buddy.”

Bing added. “I remember you saying ‘But, if we get off here we won’t know what’s down there?’ We tried to convince you to come along. So tell me, Lee. Who have you been?”

Lee smiled. “Guys, I have had the most amazing life!” And together the three old friend spent the night listening to the greatest jazz ever heard on the earth and catching up on old times.

At the end of the night, the three of them hailed a cab. It was no longer raining and every store front was alive and vibrant with activity. “Come on, Lee, we have some folks we want you to meet” and the cab pulled away from the Crystal Club on the next leg of Lee’s Road to Exaltation.

Blessed be the traveler
Blessed be those he left behind.
May their pain be swift in healing
May their memory be eternal

As it was in days of old
and as it shall be in days everlasting.

Farewell Lee

Worse back to back songs...

2009-07-15T00:10:24Z

"He's got the whole world...in his hands!" followed by "If you're happy and ya know it, clap your hands"

Global destruction on an epic scale.

Because I said I would

2009-07-03T12:09:37Z

Courtesy of liz666

01. Your middle name, or explain your chosen name:
02. Mental age:
03. Single or taken:
04. Favorite book:
05. Favorite song or album:
06. What do you believe is your calling in life? Your greatest passion?
07. What's your worst recurring nightmare/biggest fear?
08. Faith, has you any? And if so, what, and if not, why not?:
09. Do we know each other outside of LJ? Do we want to?
10. What's your philosophy on life?
11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty?
12. Would you tell me something painful if it was in my best interest?
13. What is your favorite memory of us?
14. What is your favorite guilty pleasure?
15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
16. You can have three wishes what are they?
17. What is your favorite food?
18. Which country is your spiritual home?
19. What is your big weakness?
20. Do you think I'm a good person?
21. What was your best/favorite subject at school?
22. Describe your accent:
23. If you could change anything about me, would you?
24. What do you wear to sleep?
25. Gender identity?
26. Affectionate/sexual orientation?
27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together? (If you have no idea, just say something crazy, it'll entertain me!)
28. Will you repost this so I can fill it out for you?

New ink

2009-06-28T23:30:08Z

After years of trying to decide what god forms to tattoo on my right arm, Wolf and Coyote (two of my most beloved totem spirits) insisted that they have their place first. Who am I to argue?

Handfasting

2009-06-22T16:33:30Z

I was blessed to be asked to photograph the handfasting of my sister-by-choice elocinnuala.

I took a lot of pictures, over 200 in fact (thank the Gods for showing us digital photographic technology!), and thought I'd post a couple of my favorites.

Chris's first sight of his bride.

One private moment before the ritual.

Bound as one.

Jumping the broom.

community assistance

2009-06-19T00:27:15Z

I have been beating my head against the wall for a couple years now trying to find a song. The CD I heard it on said it was the Corrs Runaway (at least that's what was on the label) but for the love of clogs I can not find it any where.

The song is the story of a young adult asking his/her father what he did in the second world war. The chorus is...

What did you do in the second world war, daddy?
I will tell you no lies.
Every time I pulled the trigger on my gun, sonny,
I closed my eyes.

Finders keepers! First one to point me to the place were I can find the lyrics gets a Tarot reading in person (local) or by message.

Rosanne Cash, The Wheel

2009-06-13T05:14:19Z

I don't think I've seen this posted here yet but I thought this was breathtaking! Challenge #1, how many cards do you see? Challenge #2, do a reading with the cards in order of their appearance.

Drama in spades

2009-06-10T19:12:58Z

Fair warning, Drama in spades below!

I'm so worn out today. Not only are my allergies totally shutting me down (trees can stop having sex NOW please!), I got a serious of phone calls from my daughter and her mother.

For those who are interested in a refresher, after a long and dirty fight over ending our marriage the kids, once in my custody because their mom had serious problems with effective parenting, went to their mother because I had serious problems in responsible parenting. T, my daughter, and her mother C have been at each other's throats ever since. Maybe not really but the only time I get a call from either of them is when they're at war. Or when my son his back in custody for getting in trouble but that's not the topic of this particular story and I digress...

The relationship between my daughter and I has had a pretty rocky past but we've been working on repairing burned bridges. Still, pretty much the only time she calls is when she needs something from me whether that is money or a sounding board to rant against her mom or an ally in her corner. She's finding that, although I love her ever and always, I'm not always going to take her side if she's wrong. I'll stand and help her deal with the consequences of her actions but I will not assist her in escaping them.

Yesterday she called me asking about the possibility of coming to live with me.

Wow. Of course, there's a story.

T has a drug problem at least at some level. I'm not sure if it's just smoking pot (and yes, I did say JUST) or if she's involved in something more. Seems she was at a friend's house and the parents thought she was high so they told C. C of course totally believed them. Why wouldn't she? T has a lot of work to do to regain everyone's trust and I've told her that. Still, she professed her innocence and took a UA. According to T, C wasn’t even willing to accept a clean UA as proof that she was not getting high. T has court Thursday and wants to ask the judge if she could come live with me. Now, at this point I told her not to expect that to be the fairy tale solution to her problems. The rules may be different at my house but there are still rules and she would be expected to make every effort to comply with those rules or continue to face the consequences of her decisions. I also reminded T of some of the things she’s said regarding D, my wife. Things like telling me that the only relationship I have with her (T) is one I pay for and then only if I divorce D. There’s a whole separate train of thought on expectations on that front but, like my son’s problem, that’s for another time.

I begin to notice a pattern. T calls for help in dealing with C and within an hour I get a call from C telling her side of the story which she often introduces as “what really happened”. I will say that I/we have caught T in some very creative renditions and interpretations of the truth so there is some historical behavior that T is working against. C’s story has a good deal of believability such as suspicious behavior and some pretty classic signs of drug use (dilated pupils not the only one pointed out). Meds were missing and T had more money than she is should have. To test the waters a little bit, I offered to take T for a week or two. The first response was “She’s used up there too”. Sure, but this isn’t about getting her away from her circle down there, it’s about giving the two of them some time apart, some breathing room. I was thanked for the offer but didn’t get any kind of feeling that she would even consider it.

Then T calls again. Seems the missing meds showed up and C called the cops. Why? Because that’s the only way C can deal with the kids I guess. She was never the one that enforced any of the discipline in the family and it seems that some things have not changed. T is sure she’s being framed. She’s sure that C has swayed everyone to her side and that the world has aligned against her. Now T has some ground to stand on here too. C is extremely clever when it comes to telling her story in a way to draw out the support of every agency she gets to listen. There are claims that C told them she doesn’t want them. Believable. There are claims that she mocks threats of family annihilation but speeding through congested traffic straight legged to the accelerator. Also believable. There are claims of disproportionate reaction to behavior. Undoubtedly believable. I have witnessed and heard witness to all of this.

Did I mention that there’s a pattern? Sure enough, I get a call from C later last night. By then, I was pretty much done with the drama so, after telling her that I was going to piss her off, I told her how I felt. I told her that both of them were bug nuts. I told her that I knew they were both master manipulators because I’ve been the receiving end of BOTH of their games. I told her that I felt there was no way their relationship would be anything more than toxic and I did not see it ending well by any stretch of the imagination. To her credit, she was very calm and accepted, even if she disagreed, with my thoughts on the subject.

At this point I don’t know how much to believe from either of them. I know that both of them are telling me the parts and pieces of the story that conforms to their own understanding of the “truth”. I would love to have T living with me but I’m not sure that she’s able to live within the bounds she would have. D and I are pretty free with a lot of things but with that freedom comes an expectation of responsibility and accountability. I know C has come a long way but I am still poly and pagan and I’m not sure if that her conservative and “traditional” social views will allow her to approve of T living long term with that. I do know that I am not up of a court fight over this unless it is to avoid them ending up back in the foster care system. Even that may not be avoidable at this point.

Did I mention the bucket loads of drama in this?

Wolf and Coyote

2009-06-09T14:54:53Z

Wolf and Coyote

Wolf and Coyote were brothers it seems
Each bound to the other in body and dreams
Each granting his spirit to Man and his kin
To show them the ancient traditions again.

One leads by duty, one teaches through mirth
And thus they are balanced from last until first
Each walking their own path along the Wild ways
As once was decreed at beginning of days.

Now Steel and Glass have imprisoned Man’s heart
And seek to draw Wolf and Coyote apart
“You cannot be honored while acting the fool”
“You cannot enjoy life when bound by the rule”

But Wolf and Coyote are clever and wise
They are teaching Children to see through the lies
That challenge our birthright bestowed in our past
And restore the balance from first until last.

Not the same dogs

2009-06-02T12:14:06Z

Denali and Sitka are not the same scared and traumatized dogs we picked up on Saturday. They can't be. Those dogs wouldn't be coming out of their kennel without being dragged like the D and S did this morning. The dogs we picked up from the Humane Society would not be out running laps and leaping and playing with each other like these two were. Nor would they have followed down the hall without a leash like D and S are now doing. The old D and S wouldn't be coming to me, tails wagging and tongues lolling out of their mouths, for nothing more than a "good boy!" and a good pet. We've only had them about two and a half days and they are so much the happier dogs now than the have probably ever been!

Can't keep them for several reasons, but thrilled to have them as long as they need us.

So Mo and Jet don't feel left out

2009-06-02T02:32:18Z

Molli

Jet

Introducing Denali and Sitka

2009-06-02T01:40:19Z

Can't tell you how much progress I feel these two have made just in the couple of days we've had them. Jet, my three legged pit bull, has been a great mentor in teaching and leading them in accepting this latest part of their live. Sitka, the youngest of the two, has a problem walking down the hall from the kennel room through the house and then outside. The choices were carry him, which I have a serious problem since I feel it validates the dogs fear, or drag him along the hard wood floor which doesn't seem conducive to building trust. The solution? Call Jet down to meet us at the door and then Sitka happily follows Jet through the how and down into the back yard.

For what ever reason, they have decided that they were my dog, especially Denali the eldest of the two. He follows me pretty much every where I want him to go. Must be an alpha thing I guess.

Today I felt they were ready to bring out the camera. Sitka was pretty easy but Denali does not stop moving from the time he gets outside to the time we put them back in the kennels. We're taking constantly on the move. With Deb's help, we were able to get him to sit still long enough for a couple shots. Here is one of each of them.

Denali

Sitka

First day in the yard

2009-06-01T01:04:58Z

We took Denali (the larger and presumably older of the two) and Sitka out in the back yard. I had Molli at the park while our calmer pack member, Jet the three legged pit bull, helped introduce them to their new territory. Here's our report.

Denali may have had some human interaction prior to the last part of his life. Once he conquered his apprehension of the stair, he seemed to enjoy searching out the yard. Pretty soon he was starting to follow me around without the come along tug. His fleas are now gone and he takes real well to the comb and brush. Oh My GOD these dogs have a LOT of hair!

Meanwhile, Sitka was very nervous staying under the deck table. He was not happy when either Jet or Molli got close to him. Finally we put our dog in the house and I took D and S into the yard. That was the key. The two of them started playing together and that totally changed Sitka's perspective of his new life.

Both have eaten, drank, peed and pooped. Both have met the stairs, the cat and both dogs. Denali is doing very well with come and following on a leash. Sitka made a huge breakthrough in trusting his new pack.

All in all, a very good first 24 hours for them and us.

Foster dog follow up

2009-05-31T16:41:59Z

They have been named Sitka and Denali.

Puppymill Fosters

2009-05-31T00:00:59Z

Earlier this week authorities in eastern Washington raided a puppymill and rescued somewhere around 300 American Eskimo dogs. Of those, our local Humane Society, the one my wife has been volunteering at longer than I've known her, got about 100. Of those, two are now in our care.

As one would expect, they are flea infested, filthy and matted and they are terrified. They don't know how to walk on a leash and they're no where near house broken. They don't even trust us enough to take food from us yet.

Right now we have them isolated until the Advantage the HS gave them has had the 24 hours it needs to kill everything. Then we'll work on combing them out and getting them bathed. The HS is working with local vets to get all of them spayed and neutered. We'll slowly begin introducing them to our pack as they become more confident in our stewardship.

You know, I usually don't wish ill for others. I don't hate anyone. I don't curse anyone. I don't cast ill magic on or for anyone. But if you are involved in any way in the running or supporting of puppymills, I hope they (the authorities) find you and punish you to the fullest extent of natural law. And then I hope They (Master and Lady of the Hunt) find you and punish you to the fullest extent of spiritual law!

Wolf Stone

2009-05-24T16:38:32Z

For more years than I can remember I've had a stone with some representation of Wolf on it. I'd lose one and somehow another one would end up in my possession. When I committed myself to following a pagan life, these stones took on a role with a greater spiritual connection since I identified very closely with Wolf energy.

A couple days ago, I was counseling a friend of mine that is going through a painful break up. In teaching her some grounding techniques, I gave her my Wolf token as a focus. She was reluctant to take it since it was something very personal to me but I assured her that I knew I'd get it back somehow.

Last night I went to a ritual at a local Wiccan church that I've attended a couple times over the last couple of years. During this ritual, the priestess channeling Hecate passes around a bowl of stones. Each stone has a word or phrase on it from the couplets she is chanting at the time. I closed my eyes and drew the stone. I did not look at it until that part of the rite was completed. I'm sure you can guess what I saw. A black stone with one word written in red. "Wolf". The couplet is "I am the wolf, but do not fear me." .

I've attended this particular ritual three times. Every time, out of the dozen or so couplets represented in the bowl of stones, I have drawn Wolf. Those who know me are not surprised nor am I. What I don't know is why I continue to draw that stone. Is it a reminder of who I am? If so, I think I'm pretty confident in knowing the Wolf in me so why the reminder of the obvious? Or is it a challenge to more completely become Wolf? If that's the case, what else can I do to better serve that part of my nature? Perhaps a warning that too much of my life is prone to Wolf. What then must I do to better balance the beast and the man in my life?

Things to ponder in the thin light of the dark moon.

edit to correct the quote. Thanks Sister Fox.

Little pig, Little pig let me in

2009-05-17T13:23:00Z

I know this isn't the best quality photo for many reasons. I was working with my light tent taking some pics of my friends new clutch of pythons when I heard my dog (and hers) at the door. I turned around and HAD to get this shot. Mine is the three legged pit bull named Jet.

Pumpkins

2009-05-17T00:05:32Z

Don't like them. NOTHING from a pumpkin goes in my mouth (and yes there are rare exceptions but work with me here). The great thing about them is carving a face in them, dropping a candle in them and using them during Samhain.

So what I am I doing? That's right, I'm planting a pumpkin patch. And I'll give Samhain pumpkins to all my pagan/witch friends and family as my gift to their rites and parties.

Just enough time to get them in the ground before harvest.